Balaam’s Ass

You may be asking yourself why I titled this “Balaam’s Ass.” Those who know me well will need no explanation. For the rest, though, here’s my rationale:

I have, unfortunately, not been given the gift of gracious speech. That is not to say that I am not trying to learn to speak lovingly and graciously, of course. It is an acknowledgement of a character flaw. When I believe something strongly or have strong disagreements with someone else’s beliefs, I tend to be like a bull in a china shop.

I shall not even begin to try to recount the number of times I have gone crashing through a discussion, later learning that I had hurt the other person’s feelings or even frightened them! Even after I became aware of my tendency to be a bit too passionate and tried to “reign it in,” I was amazed to discover that, more often than not, I had still caused destruction and dismay — and had, basically, killed all hope of further discourse.

Over the course of many years, I have met others who have the same tendencies. Some explained their brusqueness away with comments such as, “I’m the type who just has to speak my mind,” or, worse, “I have to be honest.” The worst I’ve heard was the comparison to Nathan addressing King David.

The more I met people who had the same tendencies as I, the more I cried, “Woe is me, for I am undone.” There may have been some Pharisaical desire in me not to be like “those people,” (after all, my heart is desperately wicked) but I believe there was also a true desire to learn to speak the truth in love.

Of course, this led to another challenge — identifying the truth in order to speak it! — but we’ll table that topic, for now.